


Be Okay

by Conatum



Category: Amazing Phil, Danisnotonfire - Fandom, Phan
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, can be read as romantic or platonic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-18
Updated: 2016-10-18
Packaged: 2018-08-23 02:41:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8310820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Conatum/pseuds/Conatum
Summary: Dan has an anxiety attack and Phil helps him through it.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This can be read as platonic or romantic if you squint. All respect given to real people and imaginary relationships.

“Don’t touch me!” Dan snapped, pushing Phil’s hand away, “Please, please just, just don’t touch me leave me alone.” He curled back in on himself, as if the corner of the room could envelope him. Phil lowered himself to the ground, silent. Dan had anxiety attacks before, usually fixed by a hug and listening to him rant. But this, Phil didn’t know how to deal with this.

“Dan?” No response. “Dan, Dan listen, I won’t touch you alright? What can I do to make it better?”

Dan whimpered, “Light.”

Phil nodded, “More or less.”

“Less. Less please.” Dan buried his face in his hands as Phil stood, shutting off the lights in the room, so only the hazy orange from the street below formed systematic eon lines, harsh against the wall of Dan’s bed room. On a whim Phil pulled Dan’s comforter off of his bed and gently laid it around his shaking friend’s shoulders. Dan pulled it closer, cocooning himself. 

“Better?” Phil asked cautiously. He waited for Dan to reply, hoping, praying, for a yes. Phil was a physical person. He hugged and touched to comfort, here with this all around Dan he was out of his depth. “Dan, is it alright if I leave the room?” Dan seemed to tense, and Phil could see he breath quickening, “Shh not leaving, stepping out for a moment, just a moment, to get something and I’ll come right back alright?"

Dan nodded slightly, making no effort to move from where he was. 

“One second love.” Phil stood again, quickly and quietly as possible slipping out of the room. He skidded into the kitchen, quickly and systematically making a cup of tea. He grabbed the mug and a few biscuits from the cupboard and quickly went to his room, grabbing the first few item he could find; sweatshirt, blob fish plushy, and Tamagotchi.

He crept back over to Dan’s room, “Dan? I’m coming in alright?”

He slowing creaked the door open. Dan was still in the same position, comforter even tighter around him. “Dan, I brought you some things. I don’t know if they will help make you okay, but, they will try.” Stopping a foot away from Dan he laid the tea, biscuit and assortment of items from his room down on the floor. He pulled back, studying Dan's hunched form. “Do you want me to go?” Dan hesitated, but nodded slowly. Phil nodded as well, “Alright. I I’ll be right outside. Here;” He stood and grabbed Dan’s phone from his bed side table, “I’m lowering the light on your phone and turning off the volume and all notifications, is that okay?” Dan nodded and Phil breathed a sigh of relief and continued, “text me if you need anything. I am going to go and make food.” Dan nodded again and Phil quietly left.

Phil went into the kitchen, standing in the middle of the room, lost. Just by habit he grabbed a bowl and can of soup. He puttered around the living room, sipping on his soup, trying to think of what to do. He sat down on the couch, fiddling with the pillows and coasters, making everything tidy and organized. Maybe that would help, Phil laughed quietly, and he was out of his depth with this one. He listened for any sound of life from Dan’s room, but only heard muffled sobbing. Phil sighed, resting his head against the wall outside the door until he heard a hoarse voice from inside.

“Phil?” Phil jumped up, poking his head through the doorway. Although Dan was still in the corner he now wore Phil’s sweatshirt and clutched the blob fish in a pile of comforter. The mug sat on the windowsill, mostly finished. Phil squeezed in, shutting the door again. He came and knelt in front of his friend. 

“Hey.” He tried to smile, to seem like everything was fine, but it was scaring him. Dan continued staring down at the blob fish but managed an empty sounding hey in return. 

“How are you feeling?” Phil asked cautiously. Dan glanced up at him.

“Phil-“ Dan stopped, and Phil could hear his shaky breath, “Phil, could you do me a-a favor?” Dan looked up with tear streaked eyes, face contorted with worry. Phil nodded, being sure not to get any closer, keeping his voice soft.

“Anything, Dan.” Dan smiled weakly, turning it more into a grimace. 

“Could you just, stay in here, a bit, just like, around?” Phil nodded silently, positioning himself to lean against the opposite wall where Dan was, only a foot away.

“Is this okay?” Phil asked. Dan nodded, curling back into the cocoon of blankets. Phil watched his friend for a moment before peeking out the window, watching the day begin. 

Phil didn’t know how long it had been, but he must have fallen asleep. He woke to find Dan scooting closer, nudging his arm. He sat up, rubbing his eyes, “Yes?”

Dan bit his lip, glancing nervously about. ‘God he looks so tired. Why does he look young?’ Phil though before catching Dan’s eyes, “hey, hey, what’s wrong what do you need.”

Dan paused momentarily before shrugging, “would you mind if I, uh, if I” Dan motioned to Phil, and Phil immediately smiled, opening up his arms to let the younger man crawled into them, curling up on his lap, cold nose pressed into Phil’s neck. Phil pulled the comforter around both of them, gently scratching Dan’s back in calm soothing circles. Dan sniffled, nuzzling deeper into Phil’s sweatshirt. 

Phil pulled Dan in impossibly closer, afraid to let go, now that he could just hold on. He found himself starting to tear up as Dan’s breathing evened out, turning to deep breaths ragged in his throat. Phil placed a gently kiss to the top of Dan’s head, “Please be okay, Dan. Please.”

Dan’s breath hitched, “I’m trying Phil. God I’m trying. It’s just…s-sometimes-“

“Shhh Dan, shhh” Phil brought his hand up to tangle in Dan’s hair, gently massaging his scalp. Dan’s breathing evened out again and his body seemed to melt into Phil’s embrace. They sat in silence as the sun rose, obnoxiously cheerful after the stress of the night before.

“I’m not okay am I?” Dan asked Phil quietly, knowing it had to be asked, but terrified of the answer.

Phil sighed, “No one’s okay Dan. You’re not okay. But you know what you are?” 

Dan huffed in vague amusement, “What am I?”

“Brilliant.” Dan gave a watery chuckle as Phil continued. “Really Dan, you are. You are hilarious and smart and, and beautiful, adorable, kind, open, genuine. You are brilliant Daniel James Howell. And” he paused for a moment before continuing. “You are my best friend. And I will do anything for you to help you. Because maybe you’re not okay. But you don’t have to be. But the one thing I want you to be-“

“Happy?” Dan asked sarcastically. Phil smiled, there was his Dan.

“No. I want you to always, always know that, that you’re brilliant. And I love you.”

Dan pulled himself up so he was face to face with a smiling Phil. Even after a sleepless night with hair in disarray he was still adorable. He smiled a genuine, shy-Dan smile and he looked up at Phil. “Thanks.”

Phil shrugged, “For what?”

“Not making me be okay I guess?” Dan sighed before snuggling back down into the warmth of Phil’s embrace. “I love you too, Phil.”

“Get some rest” Phil coaxed, kissing his head again. Dan smiled as he felt Phil’s arms wrapped around him. Maybe he was okay.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! As always, comments are welcome :)


End file.
